i think i'm at this place in my life right now where i just can't be angry anymore. i can't keep picking at all the bad stuff, everything that's problematic, because everything will be problematic in some way. it's not productive to be "that" person who always criticizes but never reflects on how you yourself are just like every other person..."problematic" and worth criticizing. i'm picking my battles and there are just some that i can not and refuse to put my energy in to because i know it won't make a difference. i will just end up feeling like i lost something...and i don't want that.

on a side note, i am so ready to be out of this place. all that stands in my way are four classes and a gigantic thesis that i really have a hard time sitting down and writing. all i want to do is lay in my bed or watch really good and really bad tv. but when i think about it, this is the last time (at least for a few years) that i will have the luxury of not making a living to support myself. all i have to do is read books and write (and i don't even want to do that). granted, the things that come along with being in college also suck a bit (lack of sleep, addiction to coffee, etc.). hmmm...

i've been thinking a lot lately about my relationships with people. i have great friends from high school who i love dearly. as for college, i think the people i thought i would be able to build life long relationship with really ended up being disappointing. but i've also gained some surprising relationships that i am really thankful for. people say that college is the time in your life where you gain the friends you'll have for the rest of your life...i'm not so sure about that...but we'll see.